Disclaimer: Knowledge is the best medicine, but YHC advice is not based on your specific medical condition. We encourage you to learn more, then make an appointment and really talk with your health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.
Please, just leave me alone," Juan Valdez pleaded courteously as he concentrated on maneuvering his heavily-laden burro down the treacherous mountain path.
"But I can’t," Ashley the well-meaning activist said, dogging every step of the simple bean-gatherer’s passage. "You are the victim of anti fair-trade forces. You don’t even have health care," the activist fumed.
"I do not need it," the fictitious coffee worker noted. "The beverage we transport from our lush fields prevents gout."
Ashley frowned. "What?"
"In a study of nearly 46,000 men," the donkey clarified, "an increased intake of coffee reduced the incident of gout. Specifically, six or more cups of caffeinated coffee reduced the rate of developing gout by 59%. Four or more decaffeinated cups of coffee reduced the risk of gout by 33%. You can check it out in any coffee house with a wi-fi."
Sign over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
Door to endoscopy:
"To expedite your visit, please back in"
Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
In a hospital:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
A new medical facility with several different specialists opened in a trendy part of the city last month.
Wanting to be different and creative, the administration decided that each doctor's office f would, in some way, be representative of his practice.
So, when construction was complete, the eye doctor's door had a peep hole, the orthopedist's door had a broken hinge, the psychiatrist's door was painted all kinds of crazy colors, and the proctologist's door was left open - just a crack.
"We have the results back from your test and... I'm sorry, you have an extremely contagious deadly disease known as G.A.S.H."
"G.A.S.H?" replies the man. "What the heck is that?"
"It's a combination of gonorrhea, AIDS, SARS and herpes," explains the doctor.
"My gosh, Doc!" screams the man in a panic, "what are we going to do?"
"Well, we're going to put you on a strict diet of pizza and pancakes," says the doctor matter-of-factly.
"Will that cure me?"
"No," says the doctor, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
Good Health Tips 
